Chocolate and Ice

Black women; wonderfully unique.


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Self hatred?

Posted by Lmarbly on November 25, 2015 at 10:10 AM Comments comments (0)


I see this term thrown around a little too much online especially on particular black media sites I like to visit. I like to tackle certain subjects I see a lot and post them on my own website. That said the latest self-hate claim was pertaining to black women who wear colored contacts and is it a form of self-hate? Now this subject comes up a lot, be it contacts, weave wearing, dating/marrying other races etc. My go to answer is always, there are far too many real problems in the black community to focus on something as trivial as outer appearance and who people fall in love with. Now the interracial dating topic requires a post all to itself and I may or may not tackle that one at a later date, I know people get up in their feelings on that one, so we’ll see.

Most women do things that will enhance their appearance, or at the least think they are enhancing their appearance. I notice that women of other races can throw fake hair in, dye their hair, get fake nails, wear colored contacts etc but when black women do it, it’s scrutinized and analyzed to death. It’s like we are held to a different standard as if we are not women who want to enhance areas of our physical being too. (note-I don’t wear colored contacts, wear weave or even do fake nails etc) but for women who want to, let them and understand it’s not necessarily about self-hate (I can’t speak for every woman, but I do think the term self-hate is a bit much in this situation)

I usually go a step further and say, if we want to talk self-hate, why don’t we discuss the violence in our communities, young black males being killed at an alarming rate by other black males and how about innocent bystanders who are also killed in drive bys etc. Or my favorite, black men and black women not coming together in matrimony to raise the kids they created. Or the fact that we don’t support black businesses often times. The list of real self-hatred goes far beyond colored contacts and weave wearing etc. Far beyond; I notice we (as in I see this a LOT online) get bent out of shape over trivial things, but when faced with real issues we are mum about it, or see it as no big deal.


RHOA The shades of it all

Posted by Lmarbly on November 10, 2015 at 9:00 PM Comments comments (0)

RHOA-The shades of it all Season 8 E1

I’m a huge fan of this show and was eagerly waiting for its return. It will be entertaining to see how RHOA fares without Ms. “I’m a rich bitch” Nene. Honestly I never cared for her (personality) so there is no love loss on my end. But I’m big enough to wish her the best in her endeavors.


Ms. Kenya is probably my favorite “housewife” I guess she wouldn’t be Kenya if she didn’t throw some shade around and her target this time was Sheree. I don’t know why Kenya wanted to clown on Sheree for her house not being completed when there was so much people could say about her recently acquired foreclosed home. Did you see it? It was creepy I was waiting for the theme to Psycho or Halloween to start playing. With that said I see Kenya’s vision for the house. With money and the right contractors it will be “twirl on this” fabulous.


Who didn’t see Peter inappropriately all over another woman? He can try to justify it all he wants but it didn’t look innocent. Even if it was, as a married man his hands should not have been placed on another woman so intimately. If it was as innocent as he claims it to be, when his wife told him it was embarrassing to her and she didn’t like it, he should have apologized and made promises of never doing something like that again. But he can’t because he knows it was not innocent and it was very suspect. How would he feel if another man was all over Cynthia like that?

I hate to call a woman desperate to get married but in Cynthia’s case-I feel she was in a rush to marry and married a man who still has an “I’m single” mindset. Cynthia herself said Peter sold her a dream and she chose to believe him. (Even though I am convinced there were red flags she chose to ignore) I’m sorry a man who has multiple children by different women is not even remotely close to husband material.


I always liked Porsha, I got the vibe from her that she was a mature woman. When she first showed up on RHOA I thought she was going to be the true definition of a housewife –albeit a trophy wife. I maintain to this day that she allowed those other women to get her out of her marriage. (Remember the Vegas trip and she didn’t want to go to the strip club because her husband at the time forbade it?) It was her prerogative not to go if she didn’t want to-but that’s another subject. Now that she is divorced I feel these are her true colors ie hoochified (she’s not coming off as a pious, submissive type woman now) she suppressed it for her now ex-husband, she wanted to be buck wild then. You can’t pretend to be something you’re not forever. As for her and her well-built tenderoni, I don’t see it lasting. A) he’s still rather young and I’m sure wants to sow some oats and B) She’s not that mature, not for marriage. IMO.


I tried to like her, but after this mess with Apollo and trying to act like she is the innocent victim here is irksome. She knew what she was getting when she married him.


She looks very cute pregnant. That’s all I got on her. On another social site I like to visit, I had a lot to say about her and Todd, but right now I have nothing.




Posted by Lmarbly on November 7, 2015 at 11:50 AM Comments comments (0)


Lord where to start. I watch the show and I am intrigued. It’s like a ghetto Dallas. However there have been some episodes and scenes that leave much to be desired. Yes I’m aware I can change the channel and not watch, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion or make observations. On a social media site I like to visit, a few posters were up in arms over the blatant stereotypes of black people in this show (especially black women) And I asked the question, would we as a whole support a cast of black characters who were NOT stereotypes? (yes we did once, in the 80’s with the Huxables, but would it work today? My short answer would be no. Obviously Empire is striking a cord with many viewers and even though I see the stereotypes many people speak of, I still watch the show, because at the end of the day it is entertainment and I know how to exercise my right to change the channel.

I didn’t care too much for the gorilla in a cage-Season 2 episode 1. Think about it, their last name is Lyon, so why not a lion in a cage? There are some elements in our society that already think black people are animals particularly primates.

The black women are typically the stereotype-loud, unattractive, not soft or feminine while in contrast lighter hued women are seen as softer, sought after etc. When “Tiana” was robbed it was two rough and tumble ghetto girls that attacked her. That newest female rapper is masculine “Freda” (sorry nothing cute about her or her persona) vs feminine “Laura” from Hakeem’s all girl latina group. Some might say I’m reading more into this than I should, but again it’s simply an observation.

Chris Rock as a hardened criminal? Was I the only one who laughed and said yeah right?

I want to touch on the gay aspect of this show and Lee’s total disrespect of Christianity, but I know people are way too sensitive on certain subjects so I will leave this one alone for now.

Becky-(Gabourey Sidibe) -Fortunately my eyes missed her sex scene, but plenty of people are talking about it online of course. I am torn over this. It’s great to see a larger sized black woman, especially a dark skinned one in a nice role on a popular tv show, however, most people will view her as comic relief. People are laughing at her, not with her.



Name some books you have read more than once

Posted by Lmarbly on September 26, 2015 at 9:25 AM Comments comments (0)

Name some books you have read more than once

For me:

Jane Eyre- Charlotte Bronte (no surprise there) and I might even read it a third time, the last time I read it was over 20 years ago.

Wuthering Heights-Emily Bronte (I read it once on my own and then again in HS in English class)

Petals on the Wind- VC Andrews-I hope to eventually read this one again


Books I’d like to read a 2nd time

Tears of gold –Laurie McBain

Wifey-Judy Blume




Who is/are your favorite male characters in a book?

Posted by Lmarbly on September 18, 2015 at 9:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Who is/are your favorite male character(s) in a book?

It’s been years since I’ve read all of the books I will mention, but something about the men in these stories struck a chord with me. So who are your faves?

Edward Rochester-Jane Eyre-By Charlotte Bronte

It’s no secret for those who know me that Jane Eyre is my all-time favorite novel. I even named the male lead in my first novella after him (he’s not like him though) that said-by default that pretty much makes Edward one of my favorite male characters. Obviously in real life dealing with a personality like his would be insufferable-but for a dark, gothic romance, his brooding, moody persona is perfect.

Paul Sheffield-Petals on the wind-By V.C. Andrews

He was the older man who took Cathy, Chris and Carrie under his wing after their escape from Foxworth Hall. Cathy falls in love with her benefactor (Paul). He’s hesitant at first because of the age difference and he’s not sure if Cathy really loves him or she’s just grateful and indebted to him for rescuing her and her siblings. I loved his quiet strength and the fact that he thought with his head and didn’t just go headlong into a relationship with this young girl/woman, he thought about the consequences. I’ve always been drawn to older man/younger woman books/movies. It’s probably why I liked Jane Eyre so much.

Older man/younger woman movies (and no it doesn’t have to be sexual, I don’t want people jumping to conclusions)

Phantom of the opera (absolutely love)

V for Vendetta

Point of no return


I’m sure many more.


Atticus Finch- To kill a mockingbird –By Harper Lee


He was the epitome of integrity and courage particularly in the era in which he was portrayed. In an era where most people would have followed the crowd he dared to go against the grain in a dangerous time not only for other people but for him and his family as well.


Heathcliff- Wuthering Heights- By Emily Bronte

Last but not least. Heathcliff; it took me reading this story twice to develop compassion for his character. When I first read Wuthering Heights I hated his character, he was cruel and hateful and married a woman knowing he loved another and made her life a living hell. I don’t know that I liked his character as much as the author made you feel sorry for him.


When I think of more characters I will add them. Please feel to add your own.




The Color Purple by Alice Walker

Posted by Lmarbly on September 16, 2015 at 10:20 AM Comments comments (0)

The Color Purple By Alice Walker

Ok, i'm sure by now most people have seen or heard of this book/movie, but I thought I would share my thoughts on it.

This book turned movie is one of my favorite movies. I saw the movie first before reading the book. The book is much more detailed and graphic (the relationship with Celie and Shug, the abuse at the hands of Mista) than the movie. Even though I have seen this movie at least 3 good times all the way through, I find that I have to be in the mood to watch something so depressing. You feel the pain, the joy and humiliations of the characters in this book and I swear at the end of the movie without giving anything away for those who have not seen it-I CRY like it’s my first time seeing it. However you decide to get this story in you be it reading it or watching the movie, it is a must see or read at least once in your life.

Lisa Marbly-Warir


Author of the Destinee Series-Destinee romance novella, Two Become one and Born out of lust (a working title)




Married to medicine

Posted by Lmarbly on September 10, 2015 at 12:30 AM Comments comments (0)

I know i'm a day late and a dollar short but this is in response to the week before last episode-I also cut and pasted this off of a site I frequent (It is me-so I'm not plagiarizing) I did change some words around though.

I didn't catch 9/6 episode yet, I can't wait, I know it's going to be some hot mess.

I'm liking this season as sordid and messy as it is.

I thought it was funny how Lisa chided Darren when Heavenly asked him to be one of the “participants” I also thought it was very shady of Heavenly to do that. For starters given the track record of what Lisa is going through with her husband. I realize of all the husband’s he is the better looking one (Cecil is a cutie though) but I wonder would she have asked any of the other husbands to do that? Why didn't she ask HER husband to get up on stage and pass himself off as single? Darren was dumb to do it and did anyone else notice how he was like a deer in the headlights over Claudia? I like Dr Heavenly and all, but I notice she likes to throw shade and go there with other women, but when it comes back to her own door she becomes belligerent.

Toya irks me, I was neutral on her, but she is coming off as an empty headed gold digger who would dump her husband and get with another man if he lost his job.

Don’t like Quad, I’ve expressed that before.

Jill and her husband, yeah, typical “hot blonde” though she isn’t hot and nerdy husband, the only reason I feel she is with him is for his status and money. I think there is something more behind what went down between them.

Author Lisa Marbly-Warir

Destinee romance novella

Two become one: A Destinee sequel

Jewel-release date 11/2015

HEA, HFN and even shhh Christian erotica

Posted by Lmarbly on August 6, 2015 at 8:05 PM Comments comments (0)

HEA, HFN and even shhh Christian erotica


As the saying goes you learn something new every day. I went to an author’s site yesterday venting and seeking some information about various things that a writer would ask and should know. One poster told me of HEA (happily ever after) and HFN (happy for now) In her case she told me she tends to lean towards writing erotica and she looked at my book page and made some suggestions I hadn’t thought about. My Destinee romance novella story is wholesome for the most part, but had enough “ tension” between her and Edward that you knew a sexual under current was there without having her go there (because it was her desire to wait till marriage) However, my sequel I took it a bit further and added some heat (You know what I mean). Well for some readers who may not want sex in a clean novel, I was a bit flustered because, while I want to write about a virtuous woman or women, I also wanted to write about a virtuous woman once she gets married and have her in positions to do what a married woman would do. Positions? You see that ;) A little play on words, but you catch my drift.

Well another poster wrote me a few minutes ago and told me about Christian erotica. Huh? Never heard of it in my life, nor ever thought to even look such a thing up (not that I am against erotica, I’ve read a few in my day. I did look up CE and it made me happy to know that I could write my stories how I see fit-as long as I labeled them appropriately for women looking for specifics-though I probably still won’t go into graphic detail because I have too many people who know me personally who read my books, would be too awkward. I didn’t know writing would be such a complicated journey, but it is a fun journey, I’ve learned so much in the past 7 months since going live with my first novella.

I told a font on a website I like to visit, when the topic of sex came up (which is ALL the time) that God created sex and hello, Christian people like sex too. I’m still in the process of finding my niche audience. I want to keep my female characters as virtuous as possible, even though it is seemingly unrealistic in today’s world, but when they marry I want all inhibitions cast aside and I want to be able to write the joys of marital sex and let people know it is and can be a wonderful thing. I think people think the opposite when it comes to marriage and sex and Christians and sex.

If you are a christian what are your thoughts on christian erotica?



Posted by Lmarbly on August 1, 2015 at 10:05 PM Comments comments (0)



Jewel Davis is the sole owner and president of En-Naptured hair care products. She founded the company a few years back because she saw a real need for hair care products for African American women who wanted to go natural and maintain healthy luscious locks. She sensed there was urgency for black women to reclaim their God given unique beauty and let go of decade’s old ideas of European standards of beauty. She had the savvy and knew how to do it. She knew she had a fabulous product that would sell and give black women what they wanted in regards to hair care. It was a long tedious journey she didn’t get the support she felt she needed and deserved from longtime friends; but then she had to realize it was her dream and because she had to fight by herself to achieve it, she didn’t have to share the spotlight with anyone else. It took her ten good years before her dream was eventually realized. She is single, with no children and is the baby of the family with two sisters Amethyst and Garnet.

Their mother loved gem stones and always referred to her daughters as her little gems. Their parents stressed education and failure not being an option if they wanted to succeed in life. Each sister is successful, married to equally successful men. Her sister Amethyst is a nurse and her sister Garnet is a doctor, who briefly gave up her career to rear her now grown daughters and son. Jewel completed her Bachelor’s degree while working in retail. After graduation it took a few months of sending out resumes before she landed two interviews for two major corporations. She was offered both jobs within days of each other, but picked the one that was closest to her eventual goal, unknown to her at the time. She didn’t know what business venture she would strive for. It was her plan to work for a major company building her bank account and go from there.

She is one of four black women who work at KMA Corporation. Because it was only a few of them, they hit it off instantly. There was moral support in numbers. The company is a multi-million dollar cosmetics company. She didn’t know it at the time that it would be her ticket out of the rat race. She was observing how things were done in a major corporation, so when her time came she would already be ahead of the game. 

Read sample chapter here

Upcoming books from Lisa

Posted by Lmarbly on July 23, 2015 at 12:25 AM Comments comments (0)

Upcoming books from Author Lisa Marbly-Warir

Tentative release date 1/2016 or before


What you mama didn’t tell you-is a working title. I feel that a lot of black women are not preparing their daughters for life, marriage, how to be in stable healthy relationships etc. I’m writing this book based on observations and things I wished I’d learned when I was a girl growing up. But I also feel that what I didn’t learn is what prompted me to be able to write such a book. I used to tell my late grandmother that I felt that my life was going to be an eventual testimony for some young woman/women. I’ve posted two excerpts from this book here on Goodreads and on my website. Please check it out.

Edward- (I don’t have a title for his story yet) For anyone who has read Destinee, we know who Mr. Edward Johnson is. I got a review from a woman, who felt there should be a back story behind Edward. Destinee Romance novella is through her eyes, so I didn’t delve into Edward that deeply. It won’t be a full novella, just a short story to gain a little understanding of the man he became and why Destinee and any woman who came in contact with him fell head over heels. 

Excerpt~~…. Later that night after orientation, Eddie met his roommate; a New Yorker by the name of Thomas Jenkins. They didn’t hit it off right away. Thomas assumed Eddie would probably muscle in on his territory when it came to women, but after a while, both young men saw the advantage in being friends. It meant double the honey’s for both of them. It was a known fact that good looking people ran and congregated together. They were later known on campus as the “breaker of hearts” boys. Both young men were smart, and kept their grades up in spite of nightly extracurricular activities. Young women didn’t stand a chance when these two were on the prowl…..

Born out of lust-Anthony’s story- Is also part of my Destinee series. I won’t speak too much about this one; this is still in its early stage and could contain spoilers. It is wholly different from our beloved Destinee.

JEWEL-Is not a part of Destinee. She is older, single and gets involved with a slightly younger man. She is a successful business woman, has more money than she knows what to do with, but finds that money doesn’t buy everything. This book will be released hopefully later this year.

Here is a quote from the book

……I was a little disappointed, but such was life, we can’t always get what we want. People thought that because I had money hand over fist, an expensive home in a gated community, traveled to exotic places when time permitted that I was blessed, lucky and must be ecstatically happy, but the truth was I was not. All of those things didn’t compare to a hard muscular body and an erect penis in my bed at night and above all things, love from the one who possessed those things…….

Now some of you might read the information about Jewel and think to yourself, didn’t you just write an article about practicing abstinence? Yes I did and I stand behind it. I also know this is a huge world we live in, and I also know that abstinence, and maintaining virginity etc is not realistic for most people, but that doesn’t mean I as a writer can’t write another POV on the subject of sex.

Please watch for book release updates.

Happy reading.





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About the Author

Lisa Marbly-Warir is an avid reader and has been writing for years. She started out writing fan fiction of celebrities and TV/movie characters. Michael Jackson was her favorite to write about and it garnered her a small following. She published her first book Destinee romance novella (completed 2001) January 2015. Painting and drawing is also a favorite pastime though she doesn’t do it as often as she used to. Next to reading, writing and drawing, Lisa also loves to travel. She has been to Europe, the Caribbean and North Africa as well as travels throughout the United States. You will see she incorporates some of her travel journeys into her stories. One of her quotes “Writing is an escape, and I love living through my characters and bringing them to life”


Cat person-(she loves dogs too)

Red (favorite color)

Rose (favorite flower)

Jane Eyre (favorite novel)



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